People with clipboard and cereal boxes claims


I noticed something strange in the writing on the cereal boxes. I think that helps explain why Republicans oppose big government, and Democrats seem to be embracing it. For example, here’s what’s on the Frosted Mini Wheats Original tin, in large print: “1 bowl and it’s good until lunch”. It looks good? Here’s what’s right below in fine print.

“After eating a bowl of 2% milk, at least half of adults were less interested in eating than before breakfast for 3.5 hours. “

After this great slogan first appeared on the Frosted Mini Wheats box, a man with a clipboard walked into the headquarters of Kellogg’s, which makes Frosted Mini Wheats.

“Can you prove what you wrote on the Frosted Mini Wheats?” “

“Well, that’s just common sense.”

“We have to do a study. And the results should be right below the claim on the box. “

“Yes sir. It doesn’t matter what you say.”

“We are not asking you to recall the product that already exists without this proof.”

“Thank you sir. That’s very kind of you, sir.

Kellogg’s headquarters are in Battle Creek, Michigan. As far as the eye can see, grain floats in the fields. These good people are people from the Midwest, people who fear God, people who care to please. They commission the study.

Here is another example. It’s on the Can of Cheerios 100% Whole Grain Oats. The big print says, “These little bones are circular dynamos filled with soluble fiber bound to happy, healthy hearts.”

Here is the fine print.

“(Three grams of soluble fiber per day from whole wheat oatmeal foods, like Cheerios cereal, in a diet low in saturated fat and cholesterol, may reduce the risk of heart disease. Cheerios provides 1 gram. per serving). “

It’s from General Mills in Minneapolis.

A big problem must have happened when the men with the clipboards also inquired about the Wheaties.

“You can’t say ‘breakfast of champions’. Many Champions don’t have Breakfast Wheaties.

“But a lot of people do.”


“We have been saying ‘breakfast of champions’ for 100 years. It is protected by acquired rights.

Clipboards hold a closed meeting. Across the door, the grain managers overhear part of the conversation.

“I think we’ve covered this ground already with Grape Nuts,” someone said.

“There are no grapes in Grape-Nuts.”

“There are no nuts either.”

“How was this decided? “

“The bottom line is they can keep saying it. I think the “breakfast of champions” fits that decision. And there are at least a few champions, which is more than what can be said for Grape-Nuts.

The clipboards come out.

“We will get back to you,” they tell executives. “We will take this to our superiors. “

“Do you think everything will be okay?” “

“It’s entirely possible.”

And then, a month later, they come back to say that “the breakfast of champions” is gone. And can they get LeBron James to autograph a box?

Clipboards don’t just harass grain managers.

For example, the people who make Red Bull were forced to confirm on its website that Red Bull’s taurine is not made from bull testes. And I heard that in Canada, a lawsuit resulted in the Red Bull company printing “Drinking Red Bull doesn’t allow you to fly” because the slogan “Red Bull gives you wings” was on the cans. . And Red Bull was ordered to pay you $ 10 if you drank such a can.

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